I already fell off and missed a day, maybe two, in my obviously feeble attempt to keep a daily web log. I hope I haven’t let anyone down except myself. 😅
What I need is content. Yeah, that’s it. I need to drive more traffic to my site using unique and edgy content. Motivated by that plan, I present to you:
Ten Ways I’ve Hurt Myself
I was riding the commuter rail from Boston to Ayer on the last train out of the city. The car was empty. I had spent the day dancing and doing drugs at a day-party on the Charles River. As the train was nearing my station I went to wait in the vestibule between cars. It became apparent to me that the train was not going to stop in Ayer. As the car pulled away from the platform without stopping I panicked. In a slightly altered state I opened the exit door and jumped off the train and tried to roll in an effort to stick the landing. I severely sprained my ankle and my knee was very swollen. I had to use a cane for a month.
While working on my first house I was gutting a bathroom. For whatever reason, I decided to punch the wall in an effort to remove a piece of tile. I sliced my knuckle open and bled everywhere. I decided not to get stitches and my hand was wrapped in a bandage for at least 6 weeks.
I lived at White Owl Farm in Tyngsboro one Spring. I was turning soil in an herb garden with a spade g fork while barefoot. I drove the tool directly through my foot and had to go to the ER where they forced saline through my foot. The wound became infected and I walked with a limp for the entire spring and summer.
On several occasions I have isolated myself while binge drinking and watching g television while laying in bed. Sometimes this has lasted for weeks. The last time this happened I wound up in the hospital for 14 days. My kidney and pancreas were shutting down and I contracted pneumonia.
I became so inebriated once that I couldn’t manage to climb a flight of stairs in my home. I tried for what felt like an hour. The last attempt was marked by my falling down the flight of stairs and putting my head through a one of glass in my front door. I knocked myself out and a friend felt forced to call 911.
I lived in a large warehouse space in my early 20’s. My nipples were pierced with hoops. While running around like a maniac one night I ended up catching one of the hoops on a bolt protruding from the wall. The piercing was torn out and now one of my nipples is forked.
I continue to regularly burn my mouth while trying to eat food U have made. For whatever reason I am unable to allow the meal time to cool.
One time, for some unknown reason, I put my fist through a pane of glass. I sliced my hand deeply and was forced to endure bandages for well over a month.
While painting under a bridge one night a freight train began passing by. I became alarmed and thought I needed to flee. I decided to jump through the space between train cars. I leapt into the coupling joint two of the cars. I them tried to leap again onto the ground on the other side. I did not land well and I slammed my face on the gravel.
During my freshman year at college I began having regular nights dominated by binge drinking. On one occasion I drank so much that I passed out in a snowball and urinated with my clothing on. Luckily, a friend discovered me and brought me inside to thaw and clean myself up. It took me hours to warm up and I felt tremendous shame.
Well, that was easy - maybe too easy. 🤔